


And You May Find Yourself

by lullatone



Series: Librarian AU [4]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Date Night, Librarian Buck AU, M/M, Maddie has her baby!, fluffy fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-18 08:27:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21941149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lullatone/pseuds/lullatone
Summary: The boys go out for date night. Maddie goes into labor. Eddie asks a question.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Series: Librarian AU [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1363339
Comments: 6
Kudos: 262





	And You May Find Yourself

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone!!! This has been another labor of love for my fav au, my librarian buck au! This was supposed to be finished months ago, but I kinda had a crazy few months. So now, it's a holiday gift! As of right now, this is a sort of conclusion to this au. There is of course a possibility of me writing more fics or just tiny snippets for this, but I really wanted to wrap it up in 2019. Once again, I wouldnt have written any of it without all your comments and love that you send! So I hope you enjoy!!

Buck knows that relationships aren’t meant to be perfect, in fact it’s impossible for them to be. There are good days and bad days, the kind of days that require work and compromise to make things come together. Eddie and him have had those kinds of days along with every kind in between these last six months, and Buck wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. 

In fact, he thinks he’s the happiest he’s ever been.

Happy waking up next to Eddie every morning, and falling asleep by his side at night. Happy to stop by the firehouse when Eddie is working a double, prepared with kisses and takeout. Happy to spend his weekends with him and Christopher at the zoo, or the library, or just at home together. 

Tonight Buck is happy to be sitting across from Eddie at their favorite restaurant downtown, sipping wine together on their monthly date night. After Eddie has asked Buck to move in with him, date night had become a tradition. Once a month they took the night off, calling Carla over to watch Chris while they got dressed up and went out, just the two of them. 

Buck couldn’t speak for everyone, but he’s certain that sitting across from a beautiful man once a month at a romantic dinner does wonders for your health.

Said man is currently gazing at Buck, chin in his hand as his eye’s trace Buck’s figure. Buck had opted for a fitting short sleeved button down for the hot July night, and he can feel Eddie’s eyes all over. 

“ _Ed’s_. You’re looking at me.”

Eddie grins, all charm. “Should I be looking at anything else?” 

Buck flushes, taking a sip of his wine. “You know what I mean. It’s this sappy look you get.” 

Eddie just rolls his eyes affectionately, hand leaving his chin, fingers opting to trace around the rim of his wine glass. It’s something he only does when there’s something bothering him, which Buck takes notice of right away.

“Something on your mind?” 

Eddie feigns surprise.

“Who, me?” Buck gives him a knowing look, eyebrow raised. “You know me babe, always an open book.” 

Buck snorts, reaching across the table and putting his hand down, palm up in offering. Eddie reaches out as if on instinct, wrapping Buck’s hand in his. Buck’s thumb rubs gently across Eddie’s wrist. 

“I just worry. You were quiet on the way here, which is fine, but you’ve also been quite a lot at home.” Buck squeezes Eddie’s hand. “Just know if something is bothering you at home, or at work, you can tell me.” 

Buck isn’t sure what’ll come next, but it pleased as Eddie nods and takes a deep breath.

“Actually, there has been something on my min-”

Eddie’s only halfway through his thought when Buck’s phone starts to ring in his pocket, and the two men freeze.

On any other day, a phone ringing wouldn’t elicit that sort of reaction from them, but on date night they both agreed to have their phones on ‘Do Not Disturb’. The only contacts that Buck allowed calls from where Carla and Maddie. A call from Carla meant something was up with Christopher. A call from Maddie could only mean one or two things.

Buck retracts his hand from Eddie, reaching into his pants pocket and pulling out the phone. Maddie’s picture flashes on the screen and Buck unlocks it quickly, while both him and Eddie let out unconscious sighs of relief that it wasn’t something with Christopher.

“Hey Mads. Is everything okay?”

Buck hears his sister take a deep breath, along with what sounds like traffic.

“ _So_. I started having contractions this morning, which wasn’t a big deal-” Buck freezes again, giving Eddie a look across the table.

“That _sounds_ like a big deal.”

“But it’s not. So _anyway_ we went about our day and now I am actively in labor so we are going to the hospital because I’m very dilated and it’s very possible the baby is coming tonight.” 

Maddie sounds way too calm for Buck’s liking, which is probably why he suddenly finds himself full of nervous energy.

“Tonight? As in like, a few hours?” 

Maddie makes a noncommittal sound as she decides on her answer. “Most likely.” Buck opens his mouth to respond but is cut off when Maddie swears loudly over the phone. 

“Maddie are you okay?” 

“Yeah, _peachy_. It was just another contraction.” 

_‘_ Just _another_ contraction’.

Buck feels like if he weren’t sitting down, he’d fall over. Maddie continues explaining as Buck watches Eddie flag down their waiter and apologize profusely as he tells them they need to leave.

“-and I’ll text you the address. So just meet us at the hospital as soon as you can. I need you here Buck.” 

Buck’s heart melts at the softness in his sisters voice, forming a puddle down in his ribs that makes him feel full of affection. “I’ll be there soon, I promise.” He hangs up, looking back at Eddie who was thankfully pulling out cash to pay for what they had of their wine and appetizers. 

Buck gets up, patting his pockets and making sure he has everything when Eddie looks up at him, a knowing look on his face.

“So I’m guessing it’s baby time?”

-

Maddie’s pregnancy was a whirlwind. Her first trimester was full of mornings spent sick in the bathroom before class, early bedtimes when the fatigue was too much. Her appetite had gone, food holding no interest to her in the slightest. 

When week 16 rolls around, her mood does a complete 180. Her appetite returns, and she no longer feels nauseous throughout the day. Her baby bump now _looks_ like a baby bump and much to Buck’s informed dismay, her hormones are in full swing.

As Maddie describes it, “all the blood is flowing to all the right places.'' Buck doesn’t visit her and Chim as much during those weeks. 

The third trimester is harder. The baby kicks more and more against her ribs, the fatigue returns, and just when Buck thought Maddie could get any bigger, she somehow does. She’s tired but excited and optimistic, all the way up until the end of May when school lets out and Maddie’s doctor puts her on bed rest for her final two months. 

_“Maddie, it’s a high risk pregnancy,”_ her doctor had said. _“I’m being cautious. You’re almost there, but it’s the final stretch and I want this to go smoothly for you.”_

Maddie had opened her mouth to protest, but thought better of it. 

Buck visits Maddie as frequently as he can when she’s resting, bringing her takeout and whatever movie she was in the mood for. They lie propped up in her bed together, passing fries dipped in ketchup (and a chocolate milkshake, but Maddie chalks that up to the baby’s cravings) while _When Harry Met Sally_ plays on her laptop. 

“How badly do you want to _not_ be on bed rest?” 

Maddie shrugged, popping a chocolate covered fry into her mouth.

“It could be worse. I mean _yeah_ , I pee when I sneeze, but if staying in bed for two months is what makes sure this kid is gonna come out alright, I can handle it.” 

Buck had been in Maddie’s corner as best as he could every step of the way. Between moving into Eddie’s, becoming a bigger part of Christopher’s life and the end of the school year, he felt like he was stretched a little thin. 

None of that could stop him from being there for his sister, for promising her that he would go through hell or high water to make sure he’d be there for the birth. 

Which, put into perspective, now explains why Buck’s almost broken numerous traffic laws on the way to the hospital.

“You know Buck, as someone who works for the city I don’t know if I can condone this,” says Eddie, a hand bracing himself on the dashboard as Buck honks loudly at the person in front of them.

Buck ignores the comment, shaking his head at the traffic. “Christ who’s driving that car? A blind 100 year old dog who’s drinking a smoothie?” 

Eddie instinctively reaches for his seatbelt when Buck guns it down the street, the old car doing it’s best to keep up with Buck’s speeding. Eddie won’t ever tell, but he does a sign of the cross while they weave between cars, a short prayer passing through his lips.

-

The LA traffic gods must be on their side, because a trip that could take up to two hours only takes them about 45 minutes. 

“I wasn’t driving badly or anything,” says Buck as he searches for a parking spot. “I was just exercising my right to push the speed limit.”

Eddie opens his mouth to argue that point when Buck finds a free space, swinging the car into it and putting it in park. He hangs the parking pass on the front mirror and reaches into the middle console, grabbing his phone and wallet. 

The pair all but run to the hospital doors, Eddie doing his best to make sure Buck doesn’t bowl down any nurses or front desk attendants.

“Hi, my sisters having her baby. Last name Han.” The attendant points them in the direction of the elevator, and a room on the 4th floor. When they arrive to the maternity floor, Buck checks in with another attendant who tells him that he’s allowed to go back to see his sister who, luckily for Buck, is still in labor.

Buck shrugs off his jacket, handing it to Eddie. He grabs his boyfriend's face in his hands, planting a kiss on his lips. He leans back, hands still cradling Eddie’s face.

“I’m so sorry date night went this way and I _love_ you and thank you for letting me speed and I’m going to go help my sister have her baby.”

Eddie smiles, leaning back in for another quick kiss. “Don’t be sorry, and I love you too. Now go.” 

Not needing any more encouragement, Buck follows the nurse back behind the doors, taking one quick look back at Eddie before they close.

-

Maddie turns to see her brother as soon as she hears the door to her room open, and the look of relief on her face is palpable. While over the phone she’d been calm and collected, Buck can see now that part is over, Maddie’s energy replaced with an exhausted urgency that envelopes the room. 

“ _Evan_ ,” she says, eyes already tired, her hand wrapped tightly in Chims. “You made it.”

Buck heads over to her, taking her hand in his, mirroring Chim on the other side. He squeezes it tightly. 

“Of course. Mads, I wouldn’t have missed this for the world.” 

“Good, because I don’t think this kid is gonna wait much longer.”

As if on cue, Maddie groans and she squeezes both Buck and Chim’s hands with an iron grip. The nurse that Buck hadn’t previously noticed checks her watch quickly before writing something down on her chart.

“One more contraction like that and I think it might be time, okay? I’m gonna call everyone back in.” Maddie nods and watches as the nurse disappears out the door. She looks from her brother to her husband, Chim leaning down and placing a kiss on her forehead. Maddie takes a deep breath, and Buck sees once again just how strong she truly is. 

“I’m ready.” 

The nurse comes back in with more companions, Maddie’s next groan turns into a _scream_ , and Buck supposes that it really is time. 

-

Rose Marie Han is born 5 lbs 8oz on July 12th, and she is perfect. 

She has Maddie’s ears and Chimney’s eyes, (along with his dark head of hair) and when Buck holds her for the first time he cries. He cries and cries and sees the look on his sisters face and cries some more. 

Maddie is exhausted and sweaty and she looks like she’s just run a marathon, but the glow underneath her skin is undeniable. When Buck hands her back her daughter, the glow intensifies, an ethereal sunshine that makes everything feel right. 

Buck and Chim get kicked out for a few minutes as nurses check and recheck both Maddie and the baby. 

Chim heads off in search of coffee while Buck heads back to the waiting room, finding a half asleep Eddie in the chair. They must’ve been in there longer than he thought. Buck taps him on the shoulder. 

“Hey babe.” 

Eddie groans, stretching his arms up and over his head, working out the kinks in his neck. “What’s going on? Is everything alright?” 

Buck smiles, his excitement infectious even to the tired Eddie. “Baby’s here. Her name is _Rose_.”

“And your sister?”

“She’s over the moon. She’s a champion.”

Eddie is quiet for a moment as he looks up at Buck, adoration in his eyes. Buck flushes and averts his gaze, grabbing Eddie’s hand and swinging it back and forth.

“You’ve got that look Eds.”

“What look?”

Buck recognizes it as something akin to Eddie’s gaze back at the restaurant, but he can’t explain it. “I don’t know, it’s just this _look_.” 

Eddie rolls his eyes, but there’s a smile on his face that doesn’t go unnoticed. “I’ve just been thinking about-”

Chim suddenly reappears, coffee in hand and albeit the shadows underneath his eyes, he looks just as joyful as his wife.

“We can go back in if you want. We’d love to have you meet her Eddie.”

Eddie sneaks a glance at Buck again, stars in his eyes for the man he loves.

“I think I’d like that.”

-

Eddie of course is a natural, tucking Rose into his arm the same way he must’ve done with Chris years ago. 

Buck has never experienced it before, but he’s sure now that this is what baby fever feels like. A tugging on his heart strings as he watches Eddie with his niece that makes him yearn and long, and a whole other bunch of words that can all be boiled down to _'want’_.

They spend another hour or so in the room before a nurse kindly lets them know that they’re welcome to come back tomorrow morning, after Maddie and Rose have had some rest. 

They say their goodbyes, hugs passed around the room. Buck hugs Chim extra tight for reasons he can’t quite explain, but if he feels Chim hold on a little tighter as well, he’ll never say. 

Buck starts to feel the exhaustion set in as they wait for the elevator, his shoulders sagging as he leans into Eddie. 

“What time is it?” He watches as Eddie checks his watch. 

“Little after 1.” 

Buck groans as the elevator finally opens up, thankfully empty. They shamble in, Eddie pressing the button for the main floor. They stand in silence as it returns them to the main floor. Despite the exhaustion, there’s still a buzz under Buck’s skin, a happy glow that he can’t seem to shake. 

Having so much change in only a few hours can do that to a person.

He glances at Eddie, expecting to see the same look of joy, but is instead met with what Buck likes to call Eddie’s ‘thinking face’. His eyebrows scrunch up, and he chews at his bottom lip. Eddie claims to have no idea when he’s doing it, but Buck has found that this look means his boyfriend is deep in thought, lost to somewhere else. 

Buck pokes at Eddie’s middle. “Earth to Eddie. You alright?”

Eddie’s faces loses its tension, eyes no longer looking far away as the elevator opens in front of them. They walk out together, heading towards the sliding doors.

“Yeah, just tired.” 

Buck doesn’t think so. “Just tired? Ah come on babe, that’s bull. You’ve had something on your mind since dinner.” The doors slide open to welcome them back to the parking lot, and both are happy to find that the heat had cooled down that night, the air no longer humid. Buck’s lucky they got a space so close, spotting their car instantly.

Eddie runs a hand through his hair, following Buck down the sidewalk.

“There’s something I want to ask you about, but every time I try to bring it up, it seems like the universe is against me.” 

“Well whatever it is, the universe can’t stop you now. It’s just us and the parking lot.” Buck’s unlocking the car, and when he’s met with silence, he frowns. “Eds, what’s the matter?”

When he turns around, Eddie’s on the concrete, down on one knee.

“I’ve been trying to ask you all night.”

-

Eddie knew on April 2nd that he wanted to marry Buck.

They were lying in bed, backs propped up against the pillows while they wind down. Eddie’s working his way through a level of Candy Crush (a guilty pleasure) while Buck does the daily crossword from the newspaper. He claims it helps him sleep, but Eddie’s awoken at 3AM before to find Buck still stumped, refusing to go to bed before he can finish it. Eddie has always liked Buck’s conviction. 

He’s using his last powerup to try and beat his current level when Buck makes a tiny gasp next to him. Eddie turns to see a shocked looking Buck staring down at the crossword in his hands, mouth agape. 

“What’s wrong?”

“There’s a typo in this crossword puzzle.” 

Buck simply shakes his head, taking his pen and correcting the mistake. He adjusts his glasses and goes back to it, missing the fact that Eddie hasn’t taken his eyes off him.

Eddie smiles softly, his heart skipping a beat for simply no reason at all. He realizes in that moment that he’s never been with anyone like Buck, he’s never _met_ anyone like Buck.

In that moment, he knew.

-

Buck’s standing frozen, back against the car as he watches Eddie reach into his pocket. He pulls out a small black box, and sure enough when he opens it, there’s a silver band inside nestled amongst the velvet fabric. 

“Y-you were going to propose?” 

Eddie nods, chuckling softly. “I was gonna do it after dinner. We’d go to that little park down the street with the gazebo, I’d do my speech-“

“You have a speech?” 

Eddie blinks a few times, surprised. “Of course I do.” 

Buck feels like falling over, so he braces himself against the car, trying his best to not freak out.

“Well, I-uh, I’d like to hear it then.”

Eddie smiles, composing himself, clearing his throat with a small cough.

“Buck, I love you. I love you so much, more than I can possibly describe. Every day, I think about coming home to you and Christopher, and it’s what keeps me going. If I ever thought that I’d fall in love with a librarian, I would’ve started going to libraries _much_ sooner.” 

Buck laughs, wiping away a tear from his eye.

“You mean the world to me Ev. Every moment, every second that I get to spend with you is a gift. So, will do me the honor of spending _all_ my moments with me? Marry me?” 

Buck wipes at his face again, trying to will away the tears that have found their ways to the corners of his eyes. He sucks in a breath and laughs, looking down at the man on the ground below him, the man that he loves.

“Eddie I…” Buck takes a step forward and sinks down in front of Eddie, unbothered by the solid concrete under his knees. “Yes, yes, _yes_ , 100 times _yes_.” 

Eddie lights up, a large smile breaking out across his face. He takes the ring out of the box with a shaky hand as he takes Buck’s with the other. He slides the ring on to his left hand, and Buck takes a moment to appreciate it. A silver band with 3 small stones inlaid in the center, simple but elegant. 

Buck looks from the ring to Eddie, suddenly filled with the urge to hold him, to kiss him like there’s no tomorrow despite the fact they’re still in the hospital parking lot. 

Eddie seems to read his mind, leaning in and capturing Bucks lips with his own. It’s a short kiss, but it feels like heaven, because now the man he’s kissing is his _fiance_.

When they break apart they're both smiling again, and Buck can’t help but laugh again.

“Do you think we should get up off the ground?”

“Probably.” 

Eddie stands up first, running his hands over his pants quickly to divest himself of any dirt. He holds out his hand for Buck who eagerly accepts and allows himself to be pulled up. 

Buck comes in close, leaning his head onto Eddie’s shoulder. They stand there for a moment, hand in hand, listening to the sounds of the night around them. It’s surprisingly quiet, but they aren't complaining.

The quiet is broken when Buck’s stomach suddenly grumbles, and both men suddenly remember that they haven’t eaten since lunch. Eddie laughs, pressing a kiss to Buck’s curly hair.

“Since this is already an unconventional night, would you be okay with engagement dinner takeout?” 

Buck hums to himself for a moment, putting his hands on Eddie’s chest and leaning back slightly to look at him.

“I think In-N-Out is still open.” 

Eddie grins, placing a kiss on Buck’s lips.

“Sounds good to me.” 

-

Later, sitting across from each other slurping milkshakes and splitting fries, Buck looks at his ring again.

_“It’s perfect,”_ he thinks. 

Buck knows that relationships, family, life itself isn’t meant to be perfect. Trying for something as hard as perfection will wear you down, chew you up and spit you out. Except perfection is subjective, he thinks. Perfection is what you make of it.

So if Buck wants to think that eating greasy fries with his fiance at 1AM after he’s just become an uncle is _perfect_ , then who’s going to stop him? 


End file.
